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Rewind, Pause, Pay!
"Rewind, Pause, Pay!" is China, IL's television pilot. Summary Steve battles his arch-nemesis, former President Ronald Reagan. Plot Steve gives his class a lecture while Pony draws supplemental drawings on the board. As Pony ponders what to draw, The Dean intervenes, informing Steve that two government agents, Lee and Green think he is a terrorist, much to his students' surprise. The Dean takes Steve and Pony outside the classroom, and they as well as the agents leave for the office. There, before the five enter, Frank gripes to Baby Cakes about how others think Steve is "smoother" than he is while Baby Cakes makes wine. While pouring the wine, Baby Cakes claims he left a math class due to his fear of another person being a genius. The Dean, Pony, Steve, Green and Lee burst into the room and inform Frank and Baby Cakes that Steve is thought to be a terrorist. The agents tell Steve that they don't think he's a terrorist but need to talk about their most wanted man, Ronald Reagan. Frank asks Steve if it has to do with Steve's Reagan impersonation, and Steve prepares himself to talk about said incident. In the flashback, Steve is the penultimate contestant in a talent show, and his act is an impersonation of Reagan in a derogatory manner. The host and audience instantly give him first place while abandoning the last contestant. Steve is unaware that Reagan is watching the performance and is displeased. Back in the present, Frank reveals he is the contestant who never performed, and he claims he could've won the show as he shows off his dance moves to Pony. Ignoring him, she asks the agents about Steve's relation to Reagan's status as the most wanted man. Lee reveals that Reagan instructed the FBI to assemble a time machine to get revenge on Steve and shows pictures depicting Reagan getting revenge on Steve. Steve reads a letter from Reagan supplemental to the photos which states he defecated in Steve's mouth whenever he spoke ill of Reagan. As Steve runs out of the office to puke, Pony, the agents, and The Dean follow him outside. Pony suggests luring Reagan by recreating the talent show and airing it on live television, but Steve refuses at the risk of having excrement in his mouth. Frank claims he knows just how to entice Steve into reenacting the performance and attempts such by begging him in the teacher lounge. Steve is still reluctant, but Pony uses a part of Steve's lecture at the start of the episode and successfully convinces Steve. The talent show reenactment, complete with the original host and contestants, goes live on TV as planned. The agents plant a time-freeze antidote machine on Steve so when Reagan appears, Steve is still unfrozen and he can trap Reagan and leave the rest to the agents. As Reagan is forced onstage, an agent warns that the machine has never been pre-tested and might fail. While Steve is about to do his impersonation, time is suddenly frozen as Reagan arrives. Just as Reagan prepares to defecate in Steve's mouth, Steve starts fighting Reagan, and the two attack each other while their surroundings are frozen. Steve knocks Reagan down and ties him up with a rope and gives him the same lecture he gave to his students. Reagan gives Steve a lecture of his own, and the two start to bond, all while leaving time frozen. A century after Reagan's arrival, the two agree to use time travel for the benefit of humanity. During their travel through time, Reagan and Steve have Adolf Hitler converted to the Jewish religion upon his birth, complete with a circumcision. Earlier in history, the duo amputate the arms of John Wilkes Booth and give Lincoln high-fives with the amputated arms. Going back to Biblical times, Steve stops Eve from eating the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil, thus hindering Satan's attempt to deceive them and vastly altering the course of history. The duo then prevent the September 11 attacks and the crucifixion of Jesus Christ before returning to the present. The two are surprised when their attempt to improve humanity actually worsened it. Reagan insists they be their worst selves as Steve suggests staying in the altered timeline. The two return to the moment Reagan arrives to the talent show reenactment and stop the former Reagan and Steve from fighting. The Reagan from the altered timeline unfreezes time, negating the altered timeline and its Reagan and Steve. As the audience is unfrozen, they see Reagan, and he fights Steve. Since the other contestants from the talent show as well as the original one are dead, Frank is declared the winner, and he cries of joy. Suddenly, the host tears off his costume, revealing he is a demon, and he jumps on Reagan's time machine and travels through time. Trivia *Crystal, Falgot, Leonard and Sammy do not appear in this episode. *Steve's lecture revolves around the powerful not doing anything for the lower classes despite having the ability to do so. *The title is a reference to "rewind, pause, play". Quotes *'The Dean': Steve, these government dudes think you're a terrorist! *'Baby Cakes': Better versions of human are scary. *'Green': Reagan He could be freezing and changing whatever he wants. That is Jesus' great power! *'Steve': I'm not risking dump in my mouth! *'Steve': My life has been putty in Reagan's hands! I won't take his putty in my mouth! Pony: Steve, he could be crapping in all our mouths right now, and we wouldn't know it. Category:Episodes